


Things keeping me here.

by BLUKWolf



Series: We'll figure out the details later [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Forgiveness, Gen, Good Uchiha Sasuke, M/M, Minor Gaara/Uzumaki Naruto, Post-War, Protective Uchiha Sasuke, Sasuke just wants what's best for him and Naruto, Team Seven traveling together because that would be chaotic, Team as Family, Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto Friendship, Uchiha Sasuke-centric, and nice, and they deserve the bonding time, he's a good friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:47:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26779096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BLUKWolf/pseuds/BLUKWolf
Summary: Sometimes I think about the few little things keeping me here.I have to admit, even to myself, that it's not a long list. That there's things I keep erasing, things that disappear when Naruto is close and then came back tenfold when the blonde tries to help.
Relationships: Dai-nana-han | Team 7 & Uchiha Sasuke, Hatake Kakashi & Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto
Series: We'll figure out the details later [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1917739
Kudos: 29





	Things keeping me here.

**Author's Note:**

> Last part of the series i think?? Maybe. 
> 
> English is not my native language so bear with me for a little please, and enjoy this!

_Sometimes I think about the few little things keeping me here._

_I have to admit, even to myself, that it's not a long list. That there's things I keep erasing, things that disappear when Naruto is close and then came back tenfold when the blonde tries to help._

_And although I'm not quite ready to admit it, these moments allow me to be honest with myself, to pour the things I'm unable to say and I desperately need out of my system. I feel grateful for Naruto being here with me, grateful that he's still that idiot who tries to help everyone including myself, even though I don't deserve it._

_I'm always going to be grateful with him for not leaving me behind, I guess._

_He's this... Blinding person that surprises you at every turn. This clingy, stupid idiot who takes ahold of you and never lets go, and I feel relieved that he's still by my side ~~. I want to stay by his all my life~~. _

_Kumo was good, I guess. Killer B is a little weird and I'm uncomfortable with how he speaks, honestly, but he seems like a good guy. Naruto told me about their time together and how helpful the other man had been during his training, how much he admired him for the bond he was able to maintain with his tailed-beast._

_Trust Naruto to be jealous of a man and his beast. Honestly._

_I don't know If I should talk about the monument, I don't really feel… connected to it. Grateful, maybe, but not… entirely devoted to them the same way Naruto appears to be. The Godaime once told me, before we left, how certain attachments were needed to keep people grounded and here in the present and not in the past._

_There's days where I ask myself if that's what I did, holding onto that mantle of avenger I casted over me and not letting it go because It was the only thing keeping me safe. And I guess it was, I guess I was doing exactly that. Does that makes me like Kakashi?_

_I hope not. The guy's lame as fuck._

_The Kazekage was in Kumo too._   
  
_I can't get out of my head the way he perked up when Naruto and I arrived. Can't forget the way he looked at Naruto as though he hung the stars on the sky._

_Sometimes I ask myself where would I be if not for Naruto. I hate talking so much about him, especially in moments like this because I hate him. ~~I don't. I care about him.~~ The way the Kazekage looked at him was way too similar to the way Sakura looks at me and that's uncomfortable. _

_Does he loves him? Why? Why is there to love?_

_~~Everything~~. _

_Anyways. It's too intimate and could they for the love of God just come clean about it or something? It was sickening watching their exchange filled with weird glances and those stupid dopey smiles. For fucks sake, they weren't exactly alone!_

_Doesn't matter, Naruto seems happy and I guess that's enough. For now. And for him, or whatever. I shouldn't give it too much thought but then again, I do because every time I do so I can't help but remember our hands._

_Are they marked for real? Are those marks going to stay there for the rest of our lives? Are they… telling us something? I hate dwelling on this topic because it spokes of a lot of things I don't like. Soulmates, for example. Or those stupid tales about star-crossed lovers that old man from Taki told us about. They're not real, of course they aren't._

_But then again there was a rabbit goddess wanting to enslave the world, and the founder of my clan was a moron for believing such bullshit in the first place, but I won't dwell on that because that's bullshit too._

_… God, If Naruto saw me ~~read me~~ right now he'd be laughing his ass off. _

_Cocky bastard._

_We've finally moved to Koyuki-san's place, which is nice. I like it, but at the same time not, because Tsunade sent a letter yesterday telling us about "Team Kakashi" joining us for the next few days because the dobe wants to talk to him._

_If I were Naruto, I would've just sent a letter telling them what I wanted and that's it, but fortunately I'm not, so._

_…but maybe seeing them would be good? I'm not too sure, we didn't exactly parted in good spirits. It was my fault too, which I'm able to recognize, I was too harsh with Sakura when she only wanted to be included in our… 'shenanigans' as Killer B put it. I still can't feel comfortable around her and I know that's taking a toll on Naruto, because as far as he knows she still has… feelings for me. Which I can't reciprocate, and I should totally tell her that and stop this useless chase._

_I'm not good for her._

_Honestly, Naruto likes to complicate things way too much for my liking. I wonder why I asked him to come with me. But I guess it's going to be good for him, I know he misses them, and I know too that he's not going back anytime soon._

_Even when Tsunade has appointed Kakashi as Rokudaime, I doubt Naruto would go back to take the mantle once the pervert gets fed up with it._

_Sometimes I can't help but look at Naruto and see just how…changed he is. It's surprising, and people around him are way happier when he's happy too, so a visit from our old team should lift his spirits after last month's fiasco._

_So. Uhm. Yes, he's one of those things keeping me here._

_Anyways, uhm._

_I miss my brother. And my mom, and sometimes I miss my father too. It's still hard to not wake up drenched in sweat with lingering dreams of that tsukuyomi on mind._

_There's still a part of me that hates Itachi. I don't know if I'll be able to let go of it when the time comes to focus on myself, on the life I should be working towards. I'm scared and I know it, and I'm no longer afraid of admitting it. I want to change, and maybe be happy, probably stick to travel the world on my own when Naruto decides to go back, or when he gets his shit together and he and the Kazekage get together or something of the likes._

_I think we both deserve to be happy._

**Diary entry number 126.**

.

"You're brooding." 

Sasuke was sure his left eye twitched, because that was the fourth time Naruto told him so. 

"Am not." 

"You are, though" said the blonde, rolling his eyes at him, his arms crossed in front of his chest. The path in front of them both was eerily silent, which didn't help the situation at all. "Is it really that bad? I'm just going to speak with him, see how they're doing then we can go." 

"You could have told him in your letter," replied him hissing, throwing the most dirty glare he had in his repertoire the blonde's way, who rolled his eyes at him again. "Dob–Naruto. It was way easier than making them come all the way here."

"You're just grumpy about them visiting us because you're a coward!" 

Sasuke whirled around, all thoughts flying off his head because _no he wasn't._ It was perfectly normal to feel like this when you were about to face the people you left behind when you were a child set on a path of revenge, and he was brave enough to admit to it. 

Not that he was actually going to say that to Naruto, because even if they both have been making progress in their relationship, there were things that they weren't ready to share with the other. 

Still, Sasuke glared, pouring his very all indignation on that single glare. 

"Am not!" And then, because he was feeling petty enough, he continued. "And who are you calling a coward when you can't even man up enough to tell that creepy guy how you feel?" 

Naruto recoiled, his face scrunching up in what Sasuke knew was a mix between confusion, embarrassment and annoyance. It was funny though, because his hair was a bit on the longer side, bangs falling slightly over his blue eyes that were only held back thanks to a black bandana he'd gotten from that blonde medic in Kumo. 

Sasuke was sure that if Naruto's hair kept growing, he would start looking like Deidara and that was something Sasuke wasn't about to let happen.

He needed to do something about that hairstyle. Maybe let him indulge on his silly idea of dying his hair red. 

"Oi! Don't call him 'creepy' you asshole!" The blonde lunged, his fist connecting weakly against Sasuke's chest and then his hands trailed upwards, holding him rather harshly from the shirt. "How do you even know about that? I never told you anything about it!" 

"First off, you two were disgustingly obvious the last time we saw him," boldly, Sasuke collided their foreheads together, pushing a little against the blonde and making him lose his footing. "Second of all, between the two of us, you are definitely the biggest coward!"

"You asshole–!"

"Maa, I thought you said you two were doing better, Naruto."

Both boys froze for a second then pushed the other apart, scrambling to put distance between them. Sasuke's head whipped around towards the voice's direction, seeing how crowded all of a sudden the previous silent path was.

His mismatched eyes landed on Kakashi's eye-smile, the way his attire was way different that what both he and Naruto were used to seeing. Then his gaze moved to the other three behind him; the one hundred percent creepy Sai and his awkward smile, to the honestly terrifying Yamato and finally, to Sakura. 

His former teammate was looking between the two of them with a hesitant expression carved on her face, her green eyes straying towards Sasuke more and more with the passing of the seconds. Suddenly, the raven-haired man was all too aware of the people around him, of how Naruto shifted towards him in a familiar manner, and Sasuke was hit with the realization that it was because of him. 

Because he wasn't used to be around Team Seven anymore. It had been different during the war, when he had reasons to stick around and fight for something, because the last time Sasuke had seen Kakashi and Sakura had been the day he straight up told the kunoichi to get lost because she wasn't welcomed with them both.

Was Naruto aware of it, too? 

He probably was. 

"A-ah! Kakashi!" The blonde smiled that dizzying smile of his, somewhat aliviating the tense atmosphere with it alone, and strode forward after shooting a small glance his way. "Sorry for that! Sasuke was being a little difficult, heh."

The Uchiha narrowed his eyes and huffed, trailing behind Naruto like a lost, little duckling. 

In front of them, Kakashi waved his hand in a careless manner and opened both eyes, the scar on his face pulling a little with that single action, and Sasuke did not miss the way his former sensei's gaze roamed over Naruto's form, as if looking for something. 

The raven-haired one blinked owlishly, then paused.

That look… he'd seen that look before. 

"Ah, I miss the days when my cute little genin were actually cute and did not go on field trips together across the whole continent." 

"Stop your dramatics, sensei. They're kind of weird." Still, and albeit awkwardly, the man took both boys in a tight embrace, wincing a little when Sasuke and Naruto squeezed back in payback.

Naruto laughed, clapping the man on the back quickly before making a beeline towards Sakura, who smiled softly and received the blonde in her arms.

Sasuke looked away, more out of shame than anything else, and his gaze landed immediately on Sai, who was looking back at him with his creepy smile on full display. 

"What is it?" 

"Hello to you too, _Sasuke-kun_." 

Sasuke's eye twitched again, and he suddenly had the urgency to punch something very, very hard. Here was one of the reasons why Sasuke didn't want to bring his old team into the mix; he knew it would involve one way or another the annoying, weird artist, and if he already felt awkward with Sakura and Kakashi around, the ANBU and the look-alike were a different matter altogether. 

He sighed, turning around and grumbling something under his breath that resembled a growl and a curse.

It was going to be a long day. 

  
.

  
Kakashi's face was stony and his eyes looked like flints ready to ignite something by the time his talk with Naruto was done. 

Sasuke arched one of his eyebrows, looking over his sensei and taking in all of the little things that betrayed his true feelings. 

Here was the thing barely noticeable about him: Sasuke wasn't as dense as his blonde friend, and he wasn't as stupid as seeing it and not say something about it. 

It had been a drastic change since his journey with the jinchuuriki started. Naruto was a beacon of light wherever he went, people would always come close to him because Naruto exuded an aura of confidence and trust and gentleness that was rarely seen in their world. He could still remember those first few months on the road, when they stopped in Kusa at one of the old inns there that the blonde remembered from his time wandering with the Sannin Jiraiya. 

There had been a man there, a little older than the both of them, and his whole face had lit up the moment Naruto had put a foot inside. Sasuke had been confused when the man had called out to his companion with a strange warmth lacing his tone, and Naruto had answered with that same dazzling smile. 

He hadn't known back then why the blonde was blushing, why the other man was all soft smiles and happy glances. 

By the time they decided to leave, Naruto had hugged the other man, had kissed him softly in the cheek. 

"Did you knew?" 

The raven-haired blinked, moving his gaze from the door from where the older man had come through, to the sky. 

"Kind of," Sasuke shrugged, adopting an aloof stance that further annoyed the silver-haired nin. "He was… acting different, I guess. He didn't need to told me for me to knew what he wanted." 

That, Sasuke knew, was the wrong thing to say. 

Kakashi's body stiffened, his whole demeanor changing with just a few moments in-between and Sasuke remembered then the man he had seen, going toe to toe with a missing-nin to keep his students alive at the cost of his own life.

Gray eyes bored into his with an unusual intensity that left him just a little shaken. 

"Did something happened?" Kakashi crossed his arms in front of him, regarding Sasuke with cold eyes that the raven-haired had seen only once. "Did he met someone? See something?"

"He did, but it's not my business so I try not to get too involved in it."

"Tsunade won't be pleased."

"Tsunade," Sasuke drawled, turning his whole attention to the man in front of him. "Or the Council? The village and their clans?" 

There was that look again in Kakashi's eyes, a look that Sasuke was painfully familiar with. And it kind of hurt him knowing that his sensei wouldn't get the happy ending Sakura yearned for, too. 

"Or _you_?" 

The silver-haired nin froze, his eyes widening slightly with an odd glint to them. Sasuke tried to play it off as him being the typical asshole, but he was changing, becoming someone better that could stand on his own two feet without needing the support of others. 

He wanted to, of course. To be able to trust other people and rely on them from time to time, but it was a long way to go and sometimes he switched to his old manners and that personality he had used as an armor. 

Sasuke swallowed, knowing that he had to do better this time around. 

"Look, he is… he's different." His voice sounded wrong, somehow, and he realized with a start that that was the voice he'd used with Miya Tomoko, the beautiful woman they'd met during their stay in Kusa. "There's this… this something about him, as if… I don't know, okay? But… he looks happy." 

Slowly, Sasuke approached the silver-haired man, hesitating once he was close enough to think if it was wise to be so close to someone clearly on edge with his presence and his words. Sasuke didn't tried to delude himself into thinking that neither he nor Naruto had forgave him that quickly, and the fact that there was still a small wall between them in form of secrets was proof enough. 

If Naruto trusted him with his heart, he would've told him about Gaara. If Kakashi thought of him as a comrade, as a friend and an old student, he should have seen it, but Sasuke hadn't. He couldn't see nor think the man would be able to forgive his betrayal soon enough. 

"We're both changing, Kakashi, and we're not kids anymore," perhaps, Sasuke thought privately, they had never been allowed to be. "Naruto is strong, stronger than me even, and he needs something else than a hat and an empty title. You should have seen it when we stopped in Uzushiogakure. He was… he wasn't the Naruto I thought I knew." 

No, the blonde had changed a lot. He wasn't the idiot, the clueless, the knuckleheaded pranker that Konoha knew. He wasn't the jinchuuriki who fought fiercely against a mad man, who pulled all kind of tricks against a goddess. 

He was a beacon, and sometimes a storm. He was Sasuke's firefly, guiding him gently and slowly through the fog clouding his senses, the sturdy grip of a fellow survivor refusing to let him go down that train of thought he sometimes got himself caught in. He was Sasuke's best friend, the closest thing he'd had to a brother since Itachi's departure. 

Perhaps, and this time Sasuke had no trouble admitting it, Naruto truly was his soulmate. 

He wasn't about to let him go back to a place where he wouldn't be happy. 

Kakashi had been silent, observing him with narrowed eyes. His fists were slightly shaking, and although he wanted to appear nonchalant, the way his body was responding to Sasuke's words and closeness' were telling enough.

"There's… there's things we need help with," he said at last, averting his eyes and taking a step back, away from the bundle of restrained emotions that Kakashi was. The silver-haired nin arched one of his eyebrows, and Sasuke pushed the words out of his mouth with difficulty. "And he'd be happy to have you guys around." 

"Oh? What things would you need help with, Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke did not gritted his teeth, but the raven-haired had to give it to his old sensei. He knew how to push his buttons. 

"Well, Naruto's going to need help writing that awful perverted book," Sasuke shot a meaningful look his way, causing Kakashi to choke on nothing. "And… well, he told you about Tomoko-san and the _incident_ , and he's diving into Fuinjutsu with the force of a tornado and honestly, the only way he's survived this long is because of his Fox, and Kurama is another matter altogether because he doesn't like me. He doesn't like any Uchiha, actually." 

Kakashi hummed, casting a furtive glance back to where they both knew Naruto and Sakura were talking, inside a little cafe in a town at the outskirts of the Land of Snow. 

Yamato and Sai had left to hunt down for a place to stay until the morning, casting glances his way and probably asking themselves why wasn't he inside catching up with his old team. 

"Where are you two headed now?" 

Sasuke blinked, taken aback for a second. 

"To a festival in the Land of Hot Water, and from there I thought we could visit Uzushio again," because Uzushiogakure was beautiful, and it was approaching the date of her fall, and if there was something Sasuke understood, it was the fall of a mighty clan at the hands of greedy and jealous people. "Probably back to Kumo too, for the memorial and that. Naruto and the Kazekage wanted to be there to see it first." 

He kept his mouth shut of others matters, of the way Kakashi's heart would probably break once he too realized that Naruto would probably never look at him the same way the silver-haired nin did.

Sasuke bit his lip, knowing that he too needed to speak with Sakura and clear the things between them. He knew he would never be able to give her what she wanted, but maybe, just maybe, they could have a relationship enough to be called friendship. 

That was all he asked for. 

"Sounds good," Sasuke's eyes snapped towards the man, seeing him do his infuriating eye-smile and secretly, Sasuke told himself to speak with Naruto, Sakura and Sai to try and take that mask off of the man. "I'll send a letter to Tsunade-sama informing her of this new development. Something tells me that she'd be happy with it."

Despite himself, Sasuke snorted, crossing his arms and cocking one of his eyebrows in return. The silver-haired nin shrugged with his air of aloofness once again and turned around. 

Then he paused. 

"It's good to see you being like this, Sasuke." 

The silver-haired nin turned to him once again, and his eyes softened. 

Sasuke felt a pang of regret against his chest. 

"Let's go inside. I think Naruto started to recount all those times you failed to interact like a normal human being." 

Sasuke's lips twitched, turning a little upwards when Sakura's laugh echoed out of the cozy establishment. 

Naruto was going to pay for that. 

**Author's Note:**

> So, there's lots to unpack here, I know I'm aware. But Sasuke is interesting to write, and I hope I did him justice honestly. 
> 
> He just wants happiness for himself and for Naruto and I think that's beautiful.


End file.
